Prickly Pear Wine

From the people who brought you the Spanish Inquisition and “pride, envy, gluttony, lust, anger, greed and sloth,” –i.e. The Catholic Church–comes a new list of fun things to do, erm, …seven social sins.

The seven social sins, as per Pope Ratzy are:
1. “Bioethical’ violations such as birth control
2. “Morally dubious” experiments such as stem cell research
3. Drug abuse
4. Polluting the environment
5. Contributing to widening divide between rich and poor
6. Excessive wealth
7. Creating poverty

I’ve always thought Catholics lived in their own special kind of Bizarro World. Growing up in a largely Hispanic neighborhood, I was surrounded by Catholics. (It wasn’t until high school, that I realized that there were even wackier Xians out there–evangelical Christians.) But the thing I’ve found most striking about Catholics is their loyalty to team Catholic, even when they follow so few of the tenets of their religion. Take for instance birth control*, which a majority of American Catholics use despite the admonitions of their much revered Pope. Right now, thousands of dutiful Catholics are in the midst of Lenten-imposed sacrifice–”I gave up chocolate”–all the while taking their birth control pills or sliding on a condom. I guess the logic is, “I gave up beer for a month, thus distracting Jesus from the birth control patch stuck on my hip.”

There’s not much doubt my soul’s heading somewhere warm for the afterlife. And Hallelujah, because after this winter, I’ve had it with the cold.
1. “Bioethical’ violations such as birth control–Check. See I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t. Since I’m a starving artist, I can’t afford to have a child. And if I did get pregnant, I’d have to make use of SCHIP monies or other government assistance to bring said child into the world and get him/her medical care, which would lead the Right Wing finger-wavers to scold me for having children I couldn’t afford. Course, if I spared the taxpayers and had an abortion, that would be even naughtier. But if I keep the happy little sperms from their rendezvous with the egg, I’m subverting God’s will. So, uh, fuck God’s will.

2. “Morally dubious” experiments such as stem cell research- Check. Well, no, I’ve never actually done stem cell research, but, like a majority of Americans I think the life of a ten-year-old boy with diabetes is much more important that a blob of cells in a petri dish.

3. Drug abuse-Check. If alcohol is a drug…

4. Polluting the environment-Check. (There’s a fart joke in here somewhere.) Anyone who drives a car is guilty of this one. Hope you like it hot, America.

5. Contributing to widening divide between rich and poor-Check. Sort of. I mean, if buying cheap shit made in China counts, then oh-boy, Hades here I come.

6. Excessive wealth-Check. Not rich. But I wish, which is Greed, so there you go.

7. Creating poverty . Well, to the best of my knowledge, no. It’s worth noting, however, that the Catholic church, via Sin Numero Uno (No birth control allowed), is itself guilty of Sin Number Seven.

*Actually, the birth control issue isn’t the most mind blowing example of the perversity of Catholic loyalty. That honour would have to go to the sex abuse scandals, and the apologetics and mental gymnastics that American Catholics will go to to explain why they give money to an organization that essentially sanctions pedophilia. It’s like they think their offering monies only go to the priests who keep it in their pants aren’t pedophiles. There are special Catholic accounting practices, apparently.